Nightmare

This morning I woke up around 4:00 a.m. from a nightmare. The nightmare took place in the NICU (newborn intensive care unit). I was located near a crib which was located toward the back one of the NICU rooms. ( The crib located in my nightmare was similar to where Cooper's crib had been located). Beside the crib, I was in rocking chair and holding a baby (I did this with Cooper). I looked up and saw around 4 or 5 doctors gathered around a crib located 3 or 4 cribs away from our crib. I knew they were making "the rounds". A nurse was reading off any updated information on the baby and then the doctors started to discuss the next steps necessary for the baby. I started to panic wondering what they were going to say about our baby. I woke up and thought why would I dream about that? I didn't even know I had a memory of watching the doctors.

After waking up, I thought about it and do remember. With Cooper, every morning a group of doctors would make the rounds: crib by crib. I remember this was major part of my day. I would wait to hear what the doctors had decided Cooper's plan was for the day. It was a day by day event for us. We were never told "tomorrow" you can take Cooper home. It was after the morning rounds with the doctors, they decided "today/now" we could take Cooper home. After hearing the news, I remember feeling, I couldn't get to the hospital fast enough.

This isn't the first nightmare I've had. But this one stuck with me today. Where to go from here? Well, I pass by this sign everyday. I took this picture Tuesday night and send it to co-worker/friend. Today when I saw it again, I had a moment sudden peace. I been remembering that moment tonight.